Saturday, January 21, 2012

Distribution of guilty

When I started to lead my steps were unstable and without possibility to adapt to the variations on the dance floor. I was often involved in collisions and many times the guilt was on me, but not always. For some reason more experienced dancers could get mad about me when finding the space needed already occupied by me. I was maybe standing still or moving in line but the guilt was still on me! I got feeling that these people actually did not notice me dancing there and got angry at physical obstacle of my body! I was supposed to apologize!

Then one day there was a collision again but this time the other leader was apologizing directly. From that day on this was happening more and more often!

During the years I learned to control my movements better, my partners were experienced dancers with capability to change direction as fast as needed and I was more seldom the cause of a collision. But I still do mistakes and when I turn around the other one is apologizing! Apologizing even if it is my fault!

It seems to me that the guilt for collisions is not distributed only based on the involved leaders actual actions, but other aspects are involved. I think one of those is the skill level leaders around you can recognize and accept. There is also some kind of respect you earn during the years you have been developing on the pista. During the first months other leaders are literally willing to walk over you, you are invisible somehow, but later they are more willing to leave space around you and there is less risk for collisions.

Onlookers can vary the degree of guilt based on different facts. If an experienced dancer is repeatedly doing same mistakes the guilt is more severe on him than for others. The same if you have a high position in the tango community.


Mikko said...

Some skillful and respectful leaders dance with each other.

Some leaders are playing a strategy game, trying to win as much as space around them as possible, so that they can do showy moves.

And then there are beginner's who just don't have any concept of space yet.

The leader must learn to recognize all of these different leaders, and relate to them accordingly.

Specifically, second class of leaders must be shown their limits, as they have no internal moral compass that tells them what is appropriate amount of space for them. They will only be happy when nobody else is on the dance floor.

First class of people and beginners too may sometimes have accidents, too. So accidents are not the way to recognize between the groups.

LeadingLady said...

I agree with you about these three groups and became now aware of some of the strategies I use for the second group. When I notice one of them around me I try to keep me between him and my follower. If he is pushing me I get frosen stiff untill he moves.

Still I think we are talking about different things. I tried to show how the responsibility is not actually attached to the action but is more distributed based on other things. So an innocent beginner may be pointed out as responsible but the real wrong doer is another person.